I was inspired by Rachel Platten Instagram post quite a while ago on how, after 6 months of having her daughter, she was finally feeling herself again and how post-partum is very real and very mean! I recommend you read her testimonial, it's quite hearted and real. (https://www.instagram.com/p/B00_ljelksL/...)
And this is what I wanted to bring to the discussion today, post-partum is indeed a real thing most women struggle in silence. I’m so happy to see more women opening up about it. We should do it more because in sharing our story we are allowing others to feel ok with theirs. We are allowing the other to feel that the struggle they go through is normal, real and that they are not alone in it. It’s such a powerful way to help and allow others to see, feel and heal from their own darkest moments.
I understand this struggle, I myself suffered from post-partum depression after my first son was born. It's a very lonely and hard journey. You struggle with doubting yourself on how you can raise this child, you struggle through the sleepless nights, you lose yourself completely because all your focus is on caring for others. Your entire life goes through a huge transformation, I mean it changes your relationship with yourself, your husband, your family, and even your friends, especially if you’re the first to have children. Your all universe changes, you don’t even have time for a proper bath the first few months of the baby! So there is a huge adjustment in your life and the first few months you are just on autopilot mode until you finally adjust to it you are not really yourself to allow any awareness of what’s really going on…until we finally start adjusting and become aware of what’s happening to us internally, Emotionally, etc. However, what we see mostly on Facebook and social media is this picture-perfect of a new mummy looking super great in her body and clothes again, makeup on and having a blast with her child. While I think perhaps for a very lucky few of us that is how it goes I’m quite sure for the majority it isn’t. You see, it’s taboo to say motherhood is hard and we don’t talk about it… we only post about the super nice pictures of our wonderful time with our most precious little ones because that’s what motherhood supposed to be right? And there is nothing wrong with that, there is a lot of joy, fulfillment, and happiness with motherhood however there is also the other side to it and the adaptation period, especially the first 3 years, and usually, that’s not something people openly talk about. Anyway, my all point is that I have been there, not once but twice, in fact, I'm starting to slowly come out of the second one. With my first child, everything was unknown, so a lot of stress comes from that, however, the biggest trigger for me was the work-life balance.
I returned to work after 3 months and I just hit a major nervous breakdown. Because I felt so guilty for leaving my baby. However, this situation pushed me through a period of huge adaptation and transformation, I took a deep dive within which led me to one of the biggest, toughest, most real transformations in my life. I naively thought with the second baby I would be more equipped to handle it ( since I was now more experienced but also a trained coach, healer, and stress management trainer) …oh boy was I on for another big deep dive within!
However, this time there is less resistance, I’m letting it do what is supposed to do. Clear the old stuff in us that we don’t need anymore and realign us with a different version of ourselves because we will never be able to be the same person again. We are required to change to adjust to the new “role” in our lives and the process transforms us via all the struggles, challenges, obstacles we all encounter in our own way after giving birth.
My youngest is now 11 months and only now I’m slowly coming back to take some time for self-care and slowly returning back to my healing work. The challenges with my second baby were completely different, the birth was painful and I breastfeed for much longer than the first one. There were different challenges with the second baby that reflected a lot on my relationship with my husband and had a huge effect on my spiritual growth. For example, I’m still finding it hard to adjust to having to give attention to 2 boys, I get triggered when they both require my attention at the same time. So my point is it's pushing me on different levels and making me readjust again, especially when it comes to patience! 😊 It's a virtue I am learning that's for sure!!! 🙂
So you see, it's hard and thought, lonely but also the opportunity to see the lessons and gifts behind it all and allow it to retransform and recreate us in a more soul-aligned and authentic way if we accept it as a normal adjustment process…. After all, there is always expansion after contraction, right?
Love to all